30 Day of Truth-Day 30

Day 30-A letter to the one you love.

I need to start this off by saying this officially the longest I have kept a blog going! I always start them and forget about them butI really want to stick with it this time! Even if nobody reads them writing has always been a great way for me to let out some stress and I have definitely needed all of the destressors I can find lately. Anyways off to the letter...

To my husband:

I don't even know where to begin. I have too many things running through my head and can't decide where to start. You have given me so much in the past 5 1/2 years and it really seems like we have been together forever now. I still don't know what made you text me that first night we hung out and although it was most certainly the most awkward "date" I've ever had, it was obviously well worth the time.

I still remember the night you proposed. I'm not sure how you pulled it off without me knowing. I think the dinner from Rock Bottom made it easier for you to hide your nerves. Maybe if I had tried my own chicken fried steak instead of trading you for your bacon cheeseburger, I would have gotten sick instead then you couldn't have blamed your stomach problems on the food instead of nerves! I also remember how I kept asking why you wouldn't take your coat off even though it was extremely hot in the ValAir ballroom while we were waiting for the concert to start. I really was clueless! You should be proud that I can actually remember details from something:)

I would love to say that our wedding day was one of the best days of my life and although for the fact that we were officially married it was, but at the same time we both know it wasn't. I probably should have given in and just gone to Vegas like we talked about but at least overall it was a wonderful day (minus my mother) and I have gorgeous pictures to show from it! Oh and also I still have you<3

I can't say I remember a lot of life before kids. We didn't do much except work, be bored, and sleep, so now we just have some entertainment to replace those boring hours-and then some. You giving me the two wonderful children we have is the greatest gift ever. The fact that you want to bless me with more children is just as amazing. It is crazy to look at them everyday and think that they are a part of each of us. I still think that Jaxton has your attitude though! Bentley is just sweet like his mama.

I know we have had a lot of rough times, especially over the past couple of years, but I am thankful that we continue to work through everything. I wish I was able to talk more because I know communication has to be open for relationships to work but I promise I am trying. I really think that moving will help us both depend on ourselves and eachother more and it will bring us closer together. It will definitely make us appreciate the little things a lot more.

I could go on forever posting about why I love you and the things we have been through but I'm already up way past my bedtime just to make sure this was posted on day 30. I doubt that you ever even come across this, but if you do just know that I truly do love you and appreciate everything you do for me and the boys. I know I don't say either enough.

Love,
Nikki